42 Steps Ahead: Day 3

Day 3: Mark 1 (First Steps of Ministry)

The gospel writer, Mark, chose to start his record of Jesus’ life by starting with the beginning of His ministry. John the Baptist is preparing the way for Jesus by telling everyone to be open for a change of life.

We then see Jesus in an act of submission and humility as He is being baptized by John. Baptism is a sign to the world that we are surrendered in our hearts to God.

Jesus forms a team of men (called disciples) with whom He chose to work and live closely. He then gets right to work in reaching the community around Him. In the midst of His work, we see Jesus taking time to pray to His Father. We learn as much from Jesus in His actions as we do His words.

Here’s the importance of the first chapter of Mark. We see what are the key ingredients to Jesus’ ministry: submission and humility, working in a team, reaching a broken world, and taking time out to connect spiritually to the Father. These form the foundation for our own spiritual walk with God.

Here is the link for Mark 1.

Cliffnotes

                John the Baptist baptizes people, then Jesus. Jesus starts out and heals all the people.

My Thoughts

                Upon reading Steve’s take on this, I was really looking for the four things he mentioned as parts of Jesus’ ministry; submission and humility, working in a team, reaching a broken world, and taking time out to connect to God. Now, I may be wrong here, but it seems like teamwork is not in the cards. The disciples are just being led around and they don’t seem to be doing much as far as contributing. I suppose that’s what happens when you have literally the biggest name on your team.

                I like how it references OT scripture when talking about John the Baptist. It shows that the OT and the NT are linked and part of a larger story. This man has an odd way of dressing and eating however. Though I’m curious the point of baptism before Jesus finished His works. Baptism now is a public display of obedience, that you will follow Jesus; I’ve heard it summated to putting on the ‘I Love Jesus’ T-shirt. What was it then? Did John say, “Based upon Your profession of faith in Yourself, I now baptize You in Your name. Buried like You in the likeness of death, raised like You in the likeness of your resurrection”?

                The line about the dove descending reminds me of the Day of Pentecost in Acts. I suppose this is why doves also symbolize peace so much. Or, should they symbolize peace? This is more Godliness it seems. Or maybe worthiness? I’m rambling, moving on!

                Why did they just give a cursory nod to 40 days and nights being tempted by Satan? That’s such a good story.

                I’m starting to see why all four gospels are required to get a full picture. Mark skips a lot in accumulating of disciples.

                Apparently demons were very commonplace back then. The amount of demons would be the same now, I would surmise; though human population has since skyrocketed. I wonder if it’s still a huge issue? I like how the one demon starts talking to Jesus, saying that he knows who He is. I suppose that would be a good time to reference how ‘Even demons know who God is’.

                It references Simon’s mother-in-law, who is sick. Isn’t Simon renamed to Peter later; the apostle Peter? Was Peter married? I suppose I had always had the mental image of 12 unencumbered men abandoning dead-end jobs and going to follow Jesus. Really though, Peter was married and left his wife and followed Jesus. That’s commitment, and it’s humbling when you think about it.

                After a huge night of healing and likely creating so much buzz, the apostles come up to Jesus and say, “Hey, let’s go back there.” Jesus opts to go to a different location instead of spring boarding off of the news saying, “This is what I came for.” Just an interesting development in my opinion.

                Mark 1 definitely gives a lot of ingredients of Jesus’s ministry (and His character). How many can you find? 

Chelsea

                As I haven’t really posted an article in quite a while, there isn’t a large consistency on my life story through this online medium. My blog has been less my growth through God, and more my ability to sometimes be not as lethargic in writing. Suffice it to say my supposed daily posts on Steve McCoy’s “42 Steps Ahead” have been anything but daily. Due to this gap in knowledge, I will give a little backstory on what has been happening in the life of Robert since last year. Well, the singular biggest event that has since defined my life.

                My fiancé, Chelsea, broke up with me on February 23^rd, 2013 at roughly 11:30pm. That’s oddly specific, because I vividly remember the current time when she verbalized “I don’t want to be with you anymore.” It was an emotional outburst due to having argued for the past hour and a half, or so I figured at the time. I had thought of exclaiming the same thing when angry, but just never had done it; and she had done this before. I tried to play damage control that night before she went to bed.

                The next day I was surprised that her resolve was still firm, as it had never been prior. My world fell around me, she was my purpose. I felt warm the entire day, everything seemed pointless and insubstantial. I tried to reason to her to come back to me for the following few days to no avail. She never really gave me any reasons to work with, nor did she indicate one way or another why she did it (aside from her outburst the night of). She kept giving mixed messages that I wasn’t sure how to handle, and I prayed to God that she’d come to her senses and come back to me.

                I realized I needed to actually hear God, instead of just yelling at Him for letting this happen, so I did what I hadn’t done for weeks prior: opened the Bible. I read through Acts in about 4 days, and then landed in Matthew for a little bit. When I went over Matthew 4:1-11, something struck me. In the Bible, when there was an issue, or a large decision to be made, or some new chapter of life began, people fasted and meditated on God.

                I told few people about it so as to fast in secret, but I also wanted to ask how best to go about it, so I let a couple people in on it. Namely, Rodney and Clay, who both decided they would fast with me to show support and fellowship, of which I still extremely grateful. I appointed a time to do it over the weekend, so there would be light interruption.

                Any time I heard from Chelsea (we were and are still on speaking terms) I couldn’t think properly, so I told her we would have a period of no communication. We agreed to talk again a week after that Sunday and discuss our future.

                My purpose going into the fast was two-fold, to ask God how to get Chelsea back, and to get closer to God and increase my knowledge. Of course, as many more mature Christians will point out right-away, my motives were half wrong. I was trying to get God to do what I wanted Him to do, and He had none of it. It became clear to me over conversations, quiet times, Romans, and James that I was to not be with her. We had lost most of our vivacity for God.

Steve, my pastor, had done a wonderful sermon where he made a good analogy. He is full of good analogies, but to save you time on listening to the whole thing (though you should because it’s wonderful) I’m specifically referring to his football stadium analogy, found at about 2:33 in the recording. He compares a football stadium and field to the different stages of a Christian walk. Outside of the field is being lost and not knowing Christ, the seats are analogized to being a follower. However, as you mature, you start to move towards the field. The time invested in the ‘game’ increases more and more as your position moves forward, as it does in a real game. You have to be intentional with God to move to the field, and if you’re not moving towards the field you are not producing ‘fruits’. Please listen to his analogy, I’m horrible at abridgment. The point being, I was being moved towards the field and Chelsea was content with seat 21-B.

Of course, she broke up with me, so there was obviously something on my end that I had done. Of course there were multiple things that I had done wrong; I credit my addiction to pornography as one of, if not THE largest detriment to our relationship. However, most of our arguments stemmed directly from our dissimilar ‘rows’ in the stadium. This is not to say I’m the bees knees, I am human and flawed just as anyone else. However, she did not seem to me to be moving towards the field.

She refused to ‘serious talk’ with me on the day we specified due to one reason or another, which hit me hard. I was so prepared to give this outstanding speech on how we couldn’t be together now, but if we worked hard we could be later. I was considerably less and less prepared each day. Since the breakup, I had put a complete and utter stop to all pornography (and the activity that comes with it, since it rarely if never happens on its own). But since we didn’t talk, that began to slip. Finally, we talked about a week and a half after we were supposed to. I gave her my coarse stance and let her off to God. She said she felt convicted, and would go pray about it.

“Good,” I thought. “When she gets with God we can be together again.”

I couldn’t fathom it when she told me a few days later that nothing had happened. She wasn’t intentional with God, there was no Bible reading, there wasn’t a revelation that came down upon her like fire from the heavens; nothing had changed. I just couldn’t understand what God was doing! I did what He said to do, but the result that I was expecting didn’t happen! That’s the problem though; I was still expecting God to do what I wanted.

Easter morning it finally clicked. I had been up all night due to my sporadic teenager-like sleep schedule, and at about 5:00am a wave of clarity washed over me. I can’t really explain the full train of thought as I’ve since forgotten a chunk of it due partially to bad memory and partially to sleep deprivation, but it finally worked itself out. Chelsea had always been a blessing to me, from day one. I give merit to two people in my life who worked on me the most in terms of God, and I deem her as one of them. I grew so much from many things she did, and I count it all as her goodness. Had she not decided to cut this cord, I would not have gotten this springboard into my spiritual growth. I would not have read Acts and Romans within one week of another, I would not have fasted, and I would not have grown this fruit of Christ-like character. There’s a song that says “What if the troubles of this life are Your mercies in disguise?”

So, what I want to say is this: Bad things happen, but God will work them for good if you let Him. I need to make sure this whole experience is a springboard to grow, as opposed to just a thing that happened. I’m excited what God will do for me in the future, and I’m glad to have the people in my life along for the ride.  A new chapter, a new season of my life is beginning. How awesome is it that it begins on Easter, when we celebrate the resurrection? As long as you ask, He will answer; just make sure you listen to Him!

P.S. I didn’t know how to really end this article, but I want to finish off with a couple things, so I suppose I will post-script this all! Here are two verses I heard/read that blew my mind.

P.P.S. To Chelsea: I am happy you put this into motion, even though it was a sad event. I hope and pray that you will enjoy a fruitful Christian life full of adventure, instead of one with averageness. Every datable girl I can think of is a huge step down from you, you definitely are a keeper. You helped me when I was stricken with fear, and you comforted me when the world was crushing my spirits and your final kindness to me was to launch me towards God in a way that I was not prepared to do. So, I thank you. There’s nothing else I can do for you, there’s no way for me to repay you for being such a huge miracle in my life. Suffice it to say, I miss you like crazy. We still talk now, but I am pretty sure you’ll never read this blog (you never really huge on it). Regardless of what the future holds, you were an amazing fiancé and I came out better for knowing you. I'm so glad to have known you. You led me deeper into God’s love than I would have done on my own, which is something not everyone can do. I pray that you get closer to God and that I will see you on the field in heaven, instead of the seats. And before I go, I’ll say it one last time; I love you, hon. <3

42 Steps Ahead: Day 2

Day 2: Luke 2 (Jesus As a Child)

Luke 2 gives us the details of the Christmas story. Then we get the only glimpse of Jesus as a child in this chapter. His childhood has always been a mystery since none of the four writers of Jesus’ life (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) provide very much information.

What we do see in this chapter is Jesus astounding everyone even from an early age. It wasn’t a dazzling miracle that was so amazing; it was how much He knew about spirituality and the words of God. Even as a young boy, Jesus was revealing His identity as God’s Son.

Here is the link for Luke 2.

Cliffnotes

                Jesus is born, shepherds come by, Simeon and Anna praise God, Jesus gets left behind.

My Thoughts

               Having grown up a Lutheran, I recognize the first bit straightaway. Lutheran Christmas services are identical regardless of church, it seems. There is a pamphlet passed out that has the game plan printed in it. You follow along as they recite scripture, sing specific songs, and finally light candles. When the angel converses with the shepherds it is very nostalgic of my childhood and these Lutheran services.

                In relation to Day 1, I find the Christmas story curious. I know there has to be some consequence to the details it chooses to provide. Why is the manger notable? Why do the shepherds need to be in the story? And why does it keep expressing Mary was treasuring everything that happened? Also, I have not read the Old Testament so I cannot be sure, but are sacrifices not used to forgive sin? Why would they need to sacrifice for Jesus since he was sinless? Why does God include Simeon and Anna in this story? Why does Jesus seem to be rebellious to his parents?

                Really this chapter offers more questions than answers to me. However, maybe it is just a narrative rather than a message; to know Jesus further by what occurred than to give any distinctive direction. Also, it seems God fulfilled the promises he made in this story. What promises has he made for us? Truly, he will keep them.

42 Steps Ahead: Day 1

Day 1: Luke 1 (Getting Ready for Jesus)

When a product is ready to be released publicly, a flood of advertising is packaged in a media blitz. By the time a movie hits the theaters, we’ve seen the trailer enough to quote some of the actors’ lines!

So when you think about God sending His only Son to earth, can you imagine this historical event taking place with no advertising? Promotion is a way to give us a sneak peak at what’s coming. There are actually many places in the Old Testament that give us specific details about the life and purpose of Jesus.

In Luke 1, God sends an angel (Gabriel) to advertise the coming of two important people: John the Baptists and Jesus. Gabriel appears to John’s father, Zechariah, and Jesus’ mother, Mary. Take note of the response to both of these parents-to-be: they break out in song – a natural response to God’s movement in our life.

Here is the link for Luke 1.

Cliffnotes

                Gabriel divulges Zachariah and Mary will produce children, they react differently. John the Baptist is born, there is a lot of singing and praise.

My Thoughts

The initial thing I observed was that this is partially the Christmas story. I have not read the Bible in its totality, but I have glanced over the beginning of John and Matthew. I find it remarkable how they all exhibit some manner of how Jesus came into play. Matthew and Luke appear to discuss about the tangible individual whereas John tells about Jesus as He was before we were created; ‘In the beginning’.

The Christmas story fascinates me chiefly because it is ordinarily told wrong. (The wise men were not truly there for the birth, for instance.) It appears as though there is much more significance than meets the eye. Was the manger required? Why did Jesus not cry? Why had the wise men or shepherds been part of the story? I would imagine Jesus is immense enough of a main character to not need them.

Also, who is Theophilus? My roommate, Rodney (Bible Encyclopedia Extraordinaire), imparts that Theophilus is who Luke and Acts is addressed to. This may be, but that does not say who he is and why letters like this were written to him.

I did not comprehend John the Baptist’s background. I have skimmed through John in the past and never really fathomed he was sort of a prophet. It is radical how Jesus and John were so attached (and related). I speculate sometimes if this has some unseen implication that I do not understand. Why does Gabriel say John will never have alcohol? Another phrase I do not quite grasp is “He will turn the hearts of the Fathers back to their children.”  It is in a funky style of text so I can distinguish it is quoting the Old Testament. A swift Google search uncovers it is Malachi 4.

After a cursory read, it seems it is directly prophesying John the Baptist. I deduce this is what Steve meant in his little write-down, that there was a heap of ‘advertising’ before Jesus. Even John got some recognition. The actual verse still confounds me a mite, but I imagine if I ever get to Malachi I will be able to think on that more in depth.

Zacharias does something that I suspect I would have done, inquired if God was sure. It is very simple when an unfavorable answer arrives from God to question it. This reminds me of a verse I was examining in my @ group. “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing todo and does not do it, to him it is sin.” (James 4:17). It is a little hard to swallow at first, much like Gabriel’s news. It is challenging to not simply say, “How will I know this for certain?”

It also feels like causing the man to be mute is a bit extreme. It makes me consider the Ark of the Covenant in that if it were touched or dropped, people would die. I am not certain why sometimes God seems to have disproportionate responses, though there surely is a reason. In this case, I can see later on when he regains the ability to talk, it comes to the glory of God. He speaks praise and the people around him notice.

On the opposite side of reactionville, Mary took the news in stride. But why did she leave to Elizabeth? Why did she remain three months? Also of note is every time it says “Filled with the spirit”, there is some outpouring of love for God. Elizabeth and Mary have an outpouring, and so does Zacharias; each with the funky styled text again designating Old Testament scripture. I am not looking these up; I presume it is prophesy again.

Though, one verse is really cool. I believe it is talking about Jesus and says, “To shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death.” Is that not neat to ruminate about, the picture it paints? Someone sitting in pitch black darkness, not even comprehending where he is or what he should do, lingering until Jesus comes and shines his light to show the path to life.

Now, what was the point of Luke 1? Sometimes I feel there is not always a concise lesson in a chapter, but sometimes there might be many. What did I absorb from Luke 1? There was a lot of advertising for Jesus, God does not change and He did not spring this on the world. You get advance warning. Whenever I find myself in a predicament and cry, “How did I get here?” There were likely some signs I did not heed. Also, remember to be obedient to the Lord.

42 Steps Ahead Introduction

                My undertaking of reading the bible book by book, once a week, was a noticeably substantial burden to bear for me. As an avid not-reader of the bible, my aspirations quickly faded and left me with only the inkling of failure. I hesitantly abandoned the endeavor as I recognized my own personal development was more imperative than affording the misconception I was well learned. However, that didn’t solve the averseness for reading. I can’t say the planets have aligned and I’ve overhauled it, but I’ve arrived to the conclusion that I need to accomplish this. Lethargy be darned, I’m going to do this.

                Presently I’m still in debate of my objective. I do desire to read the unabridged bible cover to cover, but I question if that is the best thing to do at first; particularly with such a rigid timeline. My church has a small section on their website for new Christians entitled “Grow in the Bible”.  It advocates a pamphlet made by our pastor, Steve McCoy, called 42 Steps Ahead. One of my friends, Clay, was able to procure one for me even though when I had searched they were in short supply. I asked permission from Steve to utilize his handiwork, so ladies and gentlemen – 42 Steps Ahead!

 

The Bible can be overwhelming at first glance and if you have no idea of where to start, you’re not alone. 42 Steps Ahead is written for those who are just getting a start in the Bible.
Each day, there is a suggested chapter to read along with some background info given for each reading. These selected chapters will give you a bigger picture of the Bible and how it flows – they start with the story of Jesus, then moves to the beginning experiences of the early church, followed by some highlights of the Old Testament (before Christ). 

If you are no familiar with the Bible and don’t know where each book can be found, just use the Table of Contents in the front of your Bible. Like anything else, the more time you spend in God’s words, the better you’ll be able to navigate. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while; give it some time and you’ll be moving around the Scriptures with no problem. 

A critical part of growing spiritual is knowing God and there is no better way to do this than spending time in the Bible. The Scriptures are not simply ancient words on a page; God uses them to grow us spiritually. The word of God is alive and active. (Hebrews 4:12) 

God reveals himself to us through his words. The unfolding of your words gives light. (Psalm 119:130) No one understands everything in the Bible, but without questions, God will reveal to us what he wants for us to see. Every time I open the bible, I simply pray these words: Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your word. (Psalm 119:18)I am jazzed for you as you begin this journey in God’s word! Whatever chapter you are living right now, God’s hope for you is to move ahead. And this is my hope for you, too… as you take 42 steps ahead.

That was the first page of 42 Steps Ahead. I will strive to read each day and publicize my views. I encourage you to as well! Hopefully with this trial, I will become less Spiritually Outclassed.

Heartbeat and Affinity

                If you weren’t aware, I recently traveled on a whirlwind adventure to the frozen north. While not technically frozen, Canada is more than enough ‘north’ to fit the description. Indeed it was reasonably warm for my brief jaunt. I departed to visit my fiancé, Chelsea. We see each other ‘irl’ (In Real Life) quite infrequently due to the considerable distance, so it was a welcome event. The nature of our relationship dictates that one or both of us will have to inhabit an unfamiliar territory when we marry, and of late the scale has been tipped further in her direction. I had this in mind during this trip and scanned everything as if I was intending on moving there, which it seems I am. This upset Chelsea, who expressed a feeling of annoyance over my nitpicking.

It’s not as though I was wading through mud huts (or igloos) in the market to purchase sustenance, the culture is relatively the same. The issue is the small differences, whether due to being situated in a foreign country or in a heftier city. One grievance is nearly everything is vastly more expensive in Canada. The first instance that I spotted a 300% markup I was shell shocked. For example, after church my family and usually a few guests will inhabit ‘the’ McDonalds. I will expend $5.00 as a means of procuring a substantial lunch consisting of three sandwiches and a drink. In Canada, $4.39 will net you a whopping single, solitary sandwich (tax not included). Had I chose my traditional feast, it would have rung up in the neighborhood of $20.00. Canadians must have a field day vacationing in the US. “Look dear! These bottles of water are priced in only the double digits!” However, Chelsea was most displeased with me after church.

I hold a few (apparently unique) views on church. Firstly, to me there is a difference between ‘the church’ and the Church. Both of these are important. ‘The church’, pertaining to the building, to the serving of community and others, to the sermon and Sunday morning service, to the programs, and to all of the semi-governmental duties of ‘the church’ to smooth out life and provide a community center is all fine and dandy. However, the Church, or rather the assembly of people who love God and dedicate their life to Him, is of more importance. ‘The church’ only exists to help the Church in my mind. Secondly, I have an issue with Christian traditions. Traditions have a place, but they are not supposed to be in place of God.

My quandaries with Chelsea’s church fall firmly under the realm of ‘not deal breaking’. I held issues with communion occurring each Sunday, the manner in which announcements were stated, and how they received offerings. Inversely, I exceptionally enjoyed the pastor’s messages for both services I attended. I have no complaints on the Church, as I never encountered any members barring those I had known prior (e.g. Chelsea, her grandmother, her uncle, etc.). Though I imagine I am quite spoiled as I possess a church home that complements me wonderfully - the only complaint I have is the (practically) forced standing at every worship song (I am told this is a choice, I disagree). Communion happens less frequently, which makes it rarer. There are no offering plates, you simply deposit if you wish in the back after or before the service. Announcements are quick, and they take special care not to interrupt God as he works in personal lives; they go so far as to allow a few minutes in the beginning for everyone to pray silently and have their moment with God before the service, which is amazing. Because I have discovered a church in which I feel at home and supported, the notion of transferring to a different church places me on edge. I presume my familiarity is the reason I am distressed about small, insignificant things; though that may just be my nature. It’s about the ‘big picture’, right? The ‘big picture’ of… what is their mission statement again? What is their heartbeat?

God calls us to do many different things, from taking care of widows to evangelizing the lost. Usually we come across one distinctive purpose that resonates more with us than the rest, and that’s how we function to bring glory to the Lord. I would define this as your specific heartbeat. Churches have these too, often notated as mission statements. 360 has the statement of ‘Grow relationships small’ as their tagline. To elucidate on that, they mean specifically, ‘small circle relationships’. Chelsea’s church seems to be aimed more at being a mega-church with evangelism (as seen on their “our-dna” page) than a catalyst for relationships. Their tagline states ‘One church, many locations’. This doesn’t mean it’s bad, it just means our heartbeats are dissimilar. I fit in with my current church so well, but will I be as effective in this new church? It’s time to examine my own heartbeat.

I drink the Kool-Aid pretty fervently at my church, and I like to believe that my heartbeat is synchronized with theirs (and God’s). So much so that if you were to inquire as to my thoughts on the meaning of life, I would respond in one word: Relationships. Your relationship with God and your relationships with others are the principal factor in life. That’s where my heartbeat resonates, relationships. I believe that via loving another in a godly manner, everything else transpires. Even Jesus says something akin to this in Matthew 22, and Paul repeats it in Romans 13. Love God and love others, it’s quite straightforward, isn’t it? Even through this, I would have a tricky time truly loving someone who speaks a different language or has a wholly separate set of morals and standards than I do. I’m only human, what do you expect? My heartbeat is for relationships, but due to my affinity I can only relate to certain types of people. 

Forewarning, I’m repurposing the word affinity to serve my needs. For the duration of this article I’m demarcating the definition of ‘affinity’ as such: An experience, trait, hobby, or talent that allows for relatability between individuals. Therefore, one who has an experience with divorce will possess an affinity for those going through difficult marital straits. One who has battled drug addiction will have an affinity for those in the depths of cocaine dependence. This doesn’t necessarily have to be linked with sin however, nor is there only one affinity per person. Those who understand music will strike a chord with those who understand music, for instance. I need to consider my affinity as well as my heartbeat to find what specific, individual purpose I’m given. Some have the heartbeat of giving care to others and the affinity for the inner city, this would equate to inner city ministry. With a heartbeat of evangelism and an affinity for a foreign country, the next step would be missions to tell them the gospel. I suppose we could redefine another word and say that heartbeat plus affinity equals mission. So, what are my defining affinities? Children, please plug your ears and run screaming out of the room at this point. Parents, I am deeply sorry for what I have wrought.

I will skip over the rather commonplace affinities that I have (video games, computer repair) and mention my most defining affinity as it would relate into ministry (as far as I can anticipate). Unfortunately, it is an experience affinity and is the sin I most struggle with at the moment. Addiction to pornography is my largest vice, though I’m starting to suspect had I been more of a brave young gentleman with the ladies it would have grown in magnitude. It started when I was little, and thanks to my computer savvy I don’t believe I was really ever caught. It took me a long time to even realize it was a sin, much less an addiction. I started quite young, as boys are apt to do, and it proceeded throughout my entire life from that point on. Culture said it was normal and healthy, ‘boys will be boys’ is a phrase I heard commonly. When I finally came to Christ the stigma of acceptance was still hanging on the habit. It wasn’t until after Chelsea and I had started dating that it became an issue. She was not comfortable with me feeding my habit, and I agreed to her demands to stop. Well, if it were that easy it wouldn’t be a story, would it?

I proceeded to lie to her for roughly a year and a half that I had not been looking at pornography. I kept telling myself, “I’ll stop after this time” over and over. ‘Next time’ never came for me. Finally it occurred to me what I had done. Nothing sobers you quite like realizing how far you’ve fallen. I’d constantly been the voice of reason throughout high school, never getting into drugs, alcohol, or sexual promiscuity (is that a word?). I was a clever lad and everyone knew it. My teachers told me I was smart, my parents, my friends, everyone in the world told me I was intelligent. I didn’t get perfect grades, but I was a remarkable young man according to those around me. Why did I all of a sudden feel like I was worthless? I cheated on my wife-to-be and lied to her about it for one and a half years. I was supposed to be the leader, and I obviously did not deserve that designation.

It took me a long time to understand it was an addiction, and even longer still to tell anyone. I was afraid I would lose the only woman who had ever reciprocated interest, and that was scary. The night I decided I would tell her was the only night I ever dropped into a Christian chat room. I couldn’t get a hold of anybody I could talk to, and I needed to talk. I needed advice. I needed validation that I wasn’t worthless. I had always had self-esteem issues, but I didn’t realize it had been built up by Chelsea until I demolished it with this. I asked shakily if anyone would listen to my story and give me advice. A bighearted fellow by the handle of “Hunter” agreed to do so. Though, I suppose the scene was very comical at the time, the server for that particular chat room had been just reset and so in order to do private messaging we all had to register (again for most). Hunter had an issue with this, so it was nearly twenty minutes until I was able to let it out.

I told him about my pornography addiction and my lies that persisted for so long. He told me that God still loved me, which was something I desperately need to hear. He told me of a website that gave out lessons for helping those with addictions in a Christian manner, but would only give me the address if I promised I would finish it. I promised, and with a few more words of kindness I felt composed enough to sleep for the night. I started my first lesson on Setting Captives Free the next day, and then confronted Chelsea. I told her about everything, and my plan to rectify it. She was, shall we say, very displeased with me. How she concluded to stay with me I do not know, but I thank God she did.

Unfortunately, this sin still hangs over our relationship like an unwelcome guest. I have been so far unable to kick this addiction and it has created abundant tension between us. There are still kerfuffles between us due to this (and other things), but generally we are okay. If God always has a plan for events in our life, what was the point of this experience?  Really it’s hard to tell, but I can say that I understand brokenness more now than I had before. I am by no means perfect, or even close. I’m simply a burgeoning young adult who needs to learn to walk more in step with his creator. Even so, now I will be able to understand someone afflicted with addiction. I will be able to walk along side another man that needs to tear down his lies. I will know that no matter how often, consistently, or fantastically I fail, there will always be at least one being that loves me unconditionally. God.

The same applies to you, dear reader. What's more, he gave you the experience for the task ahead. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is custom tailored to you through your heartbeat and affinity. What are they?

5 Simple Rules for Reading the Holy Scriptures

I was up in Tampa recently, visiting a few friends that live there. I found myself in a brief discussion with one of them, Mike, about the authors of the Bible. He mentioned over one hundred authors contributed, I disagreed.  We disputed back and forth for a while until I declared there were only 66 books, and I knew for a fact that certain books shared authors. Mike countered by inquiring whose decision it was to include and exclude books in the biblical canon. The argument arose not from bad estimation, but from our classifications of what an ‘author’ was. He encompassed any individual who had an effect on the final product through means of writing, editing, or translating. In this designation, he was very much correct, and likely there were thousands of authors. My opinion was of the only ‘author’ was the original human writer. We were both correct, but on different questions.

                Arguments and fights regularly are birthed from a humble misunderstanding of the other participant. My mother often weaves a yarn of her mother and herself fighting with the same opinion worded differently. One of the hardest things to do in a fight is to comprehend the views of your adversary, but it’s typically the smartest and swiftest course of action. If you can grasp their thoughts, you will recognize if your position is right or wrong, and how to express that. You learn which rulebook they play with. Imagine any competitive sport, for instance. They identify goals, boundaries, points, fouls, punishments, time limits, and everything pertaining to that sport. If one knows nothing about that sport, a read through the rulebook explains it all.

In life, or at least the Christian life, we possess a mutual rulebook – the Bible – that we play by. Any argument is quickly routed by ferreting out the correct verse (or collection of verses) and slapping it/them down on the table proclaiming, “It says so right here! Q.E.D.” It wasn’t until further on in my relationship with my fiancé that this easy fix-all was broken. In an argument I deemed she was mistaken, and all I had to do was slap down a verse to clear it all up. She disagreed, “See? This proves my point!” I was astonished that she was this wrong! Offering the benefit of the doubt, I examined the verse again. Obviously it implied what I had assumed, but I could see where she had gotten her opinion as well. (I am being facetious, her belief was equally valid.) Yet this is also a predicament. Here we are with the same rulebook, but a dissimilar method to decipher it. If there is a communal rulebook, we need an analogous way to read it. Therefore, I have concocted 5 simple ground rules for “Spiritually Outclassed Bible Reading™”.

1)      Everything in the Bible is absolutely true.

This is a foundation for comprehending the Bible, I believe. You may not share my beliefs, but please play along for the duration. It will align us to the same ‘rulebook’. (Though, I will mention quickly that there are opposing beliefs on what books belong in the bible.)

2)      Everything in the bible is divinely inspired.

It is a tenant in the Christian faith to believe that the Bible is 100% true and divinely inspired. The basis for proclaiming the scriptures are directly from God is ordinarily (to my limited erudition) referenced from 2 Peter 1. With this as a given, ‘picking and choosing’ what sections of the Bible to believe is unacceptable. It is all true and all meant for you. (Again, there are opposing viewpoints on divine inspiration.)

3)      Every verse requires context.

a.      Who wrote it

b.      Who was it written to

c.      What was happening

d.      What was the purpose

Too many times have I heard misused verses. Without context, even mundane speech can be exploited for unintended purposes. Consequently, I have included this rule. Before interpreting a verse, you must first determine the above parameters.

4)      Every popular opinion is not inherently truth.

Imagine a commonplace story from the Bible. Let’s take the nativity, for instance. It’s very well-known and replicated in most towns during Christmas. The infant Jesus resting in a manger next to his parents, angels, three kings, shepherds, and animals is the usual mental picture. However, this is incorrect. Therefore, if it is popular opinion, check it twice to make sure it’s correct. 

5)      Every time a book is read, more is understood.

In English class, you’re taught to first scan over the various chapters and plot the general outline so that you fathom more when you read it fully. In scripture, I would say the same. Each book should be skimmed and read to ensure you understand. Truly, it is so laden with meaning, later read-throughs should be mandatory to comprehend more.

Mission Statement

                The bible is an astounding book, or so I’m told. Its thousands and thousands of pages hold stories that have been referenced time and time again, and without this base of understanding you would be left in bewilderment as someone will allude to how they are David to someone’s Goliath. Maybe there’s one in your life who is better with animals than Noah and his Ark, or they complain how it’s such a Job to have terrible events occur constantly in their life.

                I’m always flabbergasted by people that I talk to that can pull verses from thin air, complete with verse numbers, book names, annotations ^[1], and related anecdotes. They sadly mutter, “I still need a mnemonic to remember the order and names of the books of the bible.” Oh, I’m sorry about your inability to also list the order of all 66 books in addition to knowing every story and verse. I still have to sing the alphabet song repeatedly while alphabetizing anything that isn’t on a computer.

                Indeed, it seems I accidentally surround myself with these types on occasion, completely to my surprise. I recently started in an @ group. This is the name for the small groups at my church, the ‘middle circle’ that our pastor refers to. They are based on either age or interest, so there were a few that were on the lookout for new members: the exercise group, the 20’s age group, 30’s age group, 40’s age group (and so on), and the boating group. A brief introduction of myself: I’m 20, overweight, and am not a fan of the water. The 20’s age group it was.

                It turned out to be less the “20’s age group” and more the “young married couples” group. I, myself, am engaged, but live apart from my fiancé. I am not in the same stage of life as them, and it showed. There were a few singles there; single women, and all seemingly younger than me. There was one individual I knew there, but he was occupied with his wife and trying to fish out conversation from the other members. I can't speak for the other members of this group, but for me the experience felt awkward and forced. I am indeed in the 20’s age range, but this group was not for me. However, I'm sure either I'm the only one who felt this way, or they have ironed out the kinks by this time. I hear they are all doing quite well!

                Fast forward a few months, and my friend Rodney got involved in the SRQ Commit @ group. This was based around a ministry that the individuals in the group were doing together, which was the aforementioned SRQ Commit event on Thursday mornings in the early mornings focused on teaching men, secular or otherwise, to be ‘better men’. I have not gone yet, but I plan to in the future to see how it works. The ‘vision leader’ of our church, Val, insisted I go with my friend, and my last attempts to be in any @ group had fizzled in failure.

                I tried my best to give an excuse. I lived far away, I didn’t have money for gas, a dragon was attacking my village; all my normal excuses kept being countered by Rodney. “I’ll drive.” He said. “Don’t worry about gas money.” He said. “I’ll slay it.” He said. Without an excuse left, I really had no reason not to go beyond, “I’m slightly socially awkward and would be a little uncomfortable. Plus, video games are calling my name.” This is not a valid excuse for friends who wish for you to grow in your relationship with Christ, and thusly I went.

                My @ group consisted of a gentleman in his 40s, Rodney (who had gone to college for being a pastor), a pastor and his wife, a gentleman who might of well have been a pastor and his wife, and me. Our meeting commenced after some brownies and we started to peruse the question’s we had been given for that week’s sermon. I was used to the awkward stutter-talking that happens commonly in my age range, where a new person in the midst of conversation threw a wrench into the gears. However, these people were unfazed by my presence, continuing as though I had been in attendance the entire time. They brought up answers to the questions that I would never have thought of. Every word from my mouth felt childish and immature before these seeming pillars of biblical knowledge. I mentioned a couple of my opinions in hopes of showing off my limited erudition. They then proceeded to complete my thoughts, with dotted i’s, crossed t’s, and annotated verses ^[2].

                Lest I paint the wrong picture, it was quite enjoyable. I am now a hopefully permanent member of this group and look forward to each of our meetings. I mentioned to Rodney after the meeting that I had felt handicapped when going toe-to-toe to these biblical leviathans. Everyone there had years of experience over me, and in some cases formal training. I had felt spiritually outclassed.

                That thought was on my mind this week at church, where Steve (the pastor) gave his sermon. If you wish to hear it, here is the link. In brief summation, the message was that we should be self-seekers of the truth, instead of relying on others for our faith. Through his visuals, he motioned that it would be like an adult cow still feeding from its adult mother, yet we need to go and ‘feed’ ourselves. It was a good message, and very close to home. Indeed, it knocked on the bathroom door in the most awkward of times.

                If you know me, and we have talked very much, you know my lack of biblical knowledge. Now, the implication is not that I am deficient of wisdom in this manner. I have attained a grasp of our Lord through the way I believe most people begin; through other people. I believe I know at least the most fundamental characteristics of God, and I’d like to think that I have a high level of spiritual maturity to my age group. However, much of my knowledge is based solely upon situations that I have happened to be a part of. My scope is very focused, though not all too intense.

                I’ve made plans to read the bible, I’ve asked people to hold me accountable, I’ve tried to absorb the bible via diffusion, but nothing has as of yet worked (though I will post if anything breaks through on the diffusion front). I’m certain this is not an odd problem, that I cannot wade through such thick waters without a little hesitation, correct? The problem isn’t even my aptitude for reading. My science books in high school were always read cover to cover during classroom boredom. During long pauses in band, I would glance at tutorials online on how to better myself in my music. I’ve been known to gorge myself on a book if it catches my fancy, but there’s one crucial difference. They were simple.

                English made itself known in the middle of my “favorite classes” list due to being both despised and loved in my mind. I’ve always enjoyed the complicated and interpretive rules of grammar, and the ability to weave magic into other’s minds with a story. I’ve even spun threads for my fiancé during special events, such as our anniversary. She keeps them, despite my counsel. However, English also glazed over the art of finding recurring themes in a book and then linking them to some lesson or morale in life.

                I didn’t really board that specific train very easily in high school, but I can understand it to a degree. I tend to divulge meaning at face value. When I’m told by a friend that they are leaving to buy ice cream, I don’t expect them to return triumphantly announcing they have bought a new pair of shoes. This is a level of abstraction I can only define as a cuil. However, when occurring in a book or movie, people will loudly gasp as if ice cream was simply a code word for shoes the entire time. They leave the theater in tears, pronouncing how this filmmaker had wrapped up the human condition with laces and 31 flavors. I understand some movies have something more to say, but sometimes I just don’t see it. Enter Rodney, stage left.

He loves to see the deeper meaning in movies or books, to see what the writer says about life. When the chance to see ‘Chocolate and Vanilla: A Tale of Two Cones’ arrived, he would jump (in his New Balance sneakers) to see it; though I like to imagine he would slip ironically on an empty container of banana-flavored ice cream upon departure. He even classifies movies between ‘islands’ and… I guess not-islands. He never gave a name for the latter to my memory. An island is a movie which is fantastic, but doesn’t give a message pertaining to the world at large. Reverse that meaning for the reverse island, the movie is fantastic and says something about the world at large. With that image, I shall call them ‘lake’ films, or perhaps oceans if they’re deep. You’re welcome Rodney. (P.S. If you are also highly interested in film, here is his blog about said films.)

                When I view a film, my priority is entertainment. When I read a book, that same priority exists. When I play video games, the purpose is to ‘pwn noobs’, not to understand more about myself. This isn’t to say I do not appreciate these ‘lake’ films, nor do I miss epic storylines in particular games; it simply doesn’t come without effort, and is not the first thing on my mind. I suppose that would be the primary issue I have with pouring through the bible. Every word drips with meaning, there are coincidences and connections all the way through, and everything ties in. This is not an activity for my entertainment. The closest event I can compare it with is studying for a big test. Spoiler: I never studied in school. I presume this is the block I have. I don’t look forward to reading an assignment every day. Unfortunately, the test is more in line with a pop quiz, and I don’t know when that particular trap will be sprung. Though with that analogy, everyone would be students and the classroom needn’t be so alone, especially since we already have our homework assigned.

                With that said, here is my mission statement for this blog. Firstly, I am going to attempt to read one (1) book of the bible per week and jot down my thoughts on it. This will be in order as it is in the bible, from Genesis to Revelations. I encourage any individuals reading to take part as well. If you are Christian, learn more about your faith and be less spiritually outclassed. If you are not, the bible may not be your cup of tea, but it is one of the most referenced books in literature. Likely, it would benefit you to have the bible under your belt for general knowledge. Secondly, addition to my weekly readings, this blog will detail my 'trials' and 'tribulations' past and present. This will be about me and my life, so anything pertaining to that shall be fair game for a post. I believe God made my life and everything I interact with, so technically it isn't off-topic! Inspiration can come from anything, and lessons have the potential to be taught through a variety of means.

                I am a student. I do not know or understand everything, nor do I believe I ever will in this life. I’m going to try my hardest though. Care to join me?